Hi all! Today I donāt have any ramblings on design and career to share with you, but more of a personal update.
After living in Berlin for almost 10 years, Iāve moved back to my home country and am about to start a new chapter in my live in Amsterdam.
I look back at those 10 years feeling happy, grateful and proud and thought Iāll share 4 important lessons Iāve learned along the way.
1. Donāt let grammar stop you.
Ask any expat in Germany and theyāll tell you that learning the German language is a humbling experience. As a Dutch person, learning German wasnāt such a big leap but it was still challenging enough.
The one thing that helped me become fluent in German? Giving up on following grammar rules. Just āgoing with the flowā made it easier for me to strike up conversation - and by listening to others, I managed to understand German grammar better.
Stepping over my feelings of shame helped me in other ways too. It helped me become more social (more on friendships in a bit), it helped me get fitter in the gym and it helped me seize career opportunities that felt challenging and maybe out of my league.
2. Doing is better than dreaming.
One thing Iāve consistently practiced in the past decade and what helped me with my professional and personal growth is to turn goals into actionable steps.
Iām not much of a dreamer but Iāve learned that you donāt need to have big visions to experience joy and success in your life.
What matters more to me is to move from (over)thinking towards doing. I try to live by the mantra: āSay yes to every exciting opportunity and figure out how and what along the way.ā
3. Be intentional with relationships and connections.
Moving abroad means either feeling very lonely or overwhelmed with all the new social contacts youāve made. Probably itās both. Sometimes even at the same time.
Iāve definitely been through phases in Germany where I felt lonely and desperate to meet new friends. Iāve also been through phases where I suddenly met so many new people and established many new friendships.
In the past years Iāve been very intentional with my connections and relationships I invest time in. Iāve defined what values I look for in new connections and have said goodbye to quite some people. I have less friends than I had before but the people that are part of my everyday life right now are the ones that make me feel so happy, balanced and inspired.
4. āHomeā is not an actual, physical place.
It took a long time for me to define what āhomeā exactly is. The town I grew up in never felt like home. At some point, the house I grew up in also didnāt feel like home anymore. Especially when my parents turned my bedroom into a guest bedroom (what!). For a long time, Berlin was my home - even though I had no family or other ties to that city. So āhomeā isnāt as simple as āthe place where you grew upā or āthe place your family livesā.
Right now Iām writing this newsletter from a temporary stay in Amsterdam - it doesnāt feel like home for me, but I also know that that fuzzy, secure and comfortable āhomeā feeling is something I carry in me and I can re-create wherever I go.
Yay to new beginnings! I resonate with everything you've said but my biggest takeaway from your post is doing is better than dreaming. Aye aye to that.
I have only very fond memories of Amsterdam so I'm jealous that you are going to be living there once more However moving back "home" must have its sets of challenges. I cannot imagine moving back to Kuala Lumpur after being more than two decades abroad. You're brave!